The Onion | Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry:

According to police reports, demonstrators were vocal but orderly.

'The unholy union of people of the same gender destroys the only type of romantic love sanctioned by Our Lord in Heaven: the love between a man and a woman,' 54-year-old protester Rose Shoults said. 'Me and my new partner Helene are going to fry in hell.'

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