why can't i ever get easy horoscopes that tell me that i will win the lottery and cute babes will come over to my house and feed me peeled grapes?

The Village Voice: Horoscope: Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny: "LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Your life has brought you many maddeningly inconclusive adventures. On occasion, you've probably been tempted to invest what was left of your battered faith in the doctrine proclaimed by Gertrude Stein: 'There ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer.' But now the time has come for you to suspend your belief in Stein's theory and others like it. During the next five months, I predict that you will be given more precise, definitive answers than you've ever had before. "