i dreamt about the ex last night. i dreamt he sent me email. it wasn't even a new email, it was just a reply in a conversation we were having. yet there the email was, and there i was, pleased and happy about it.

this is probably spurred by the fact that we had a few good interactions last week (all of which were initiated by me) and there is some part of my brain that hasn't gotten the message yet that he isn't going to (whether it's can't or won't is pretty much irrelevant at this point) start reaching out to me. it didn't happen while we were married, it hasn't happened yet, it's not going to happen.

i think i want to have that tattooed on whichever part of my brain isn't getting the message. maybe in glow in the dark ink.

i don't especially need or want sympathy here; it's just a matter of time. but offers of test tube brushes, sporks, or tattoo parlor recommendations would be gladly accepted.

also my dog wishes i would stop beating her, so i must now go do that. (silly silly part hound with the big brown eyes.)