i'm not only going to point you at this, i'm going to totally steal one of the comments, because not only does the post say what i want to say, the comment says what i want to say about the post. this other people having my brain thing is both handy and weird, sometimes.

Official Shrub.com Blog -- Blog Archive -- How to be a Real Nice Guy

Tekanji has written a wonderful post: How to Be a Real Nice Guy. I'm not going to pull out quotes because I highly recommend my male visitors (because I know you are all well intentioned and I hope do consider yourselves nice guys) read the entire post.

it's also cross applicable to other sorts of privilege. so really, good for nearly everyone to go read.