my piratedog's horoscope for the week says that she should stop barking at the neighbors so much.

no, really. it does. (pesky rob bresnzy!)

City Pages - Free Will Astrology:

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Harper's Index says the U.S. government spends more than twice as much on military defense than do Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran combined. The aggregate population of those four countries, on the other hand, is five times larger than America's 300 million people. One might reasonably conclude, therefore, that while the U.S. has a right to safeguard itself, its glut of weaponry is absurdly extreme. I'm not definitively asserting, Capricorn, that you, too, are over-invested in defending and protecting your interests, but the astrological omens suggest it's a possibility. Please look into it. In any case, consider freeing up some of your contracted, fearful energy and directing it toward more pleasurable and constructive goals.

pleasurable and constructive goals like pooping, miss i just ate several sticks of gum.