we helped sigrid move into her new house last night. it was a very quick and easy move, except for the dog wrangling part. (the dogs wanted to help, you see...) i was mostly in charge of dog wrangling.

the new house is in st. paul. a long damn way from me. i'm not so fond of that part. but sig loves the house, and i'll figure out how to get there and back sometime soon, and then i'll feel better about that part.

hmm. blogger ate a post of mine. how silly of it.

there is always
something to be thankful
for you would not
think that a cockroach
had much ground
for optimism
but as the fishing season
opens up i grow
more and more
cheerful at the thought
that nobody ever got
the notion of using
cockroaches for bait

-- Don Marquis



(happy thanksgiving, to those here in the usa.)

this is one of those moments where i wish for that clarity and eloquence that comes when i'm a particular sort of furious. right now, i'm just a bit angry, and a bit frustrated and sad, so i'm going to have to muddle along on my own.

it's not about what you say.

it's about what you do.

it always has been.

if you say you love me, and you act in ways that only demonstrate how much you care about yourself, it doesn't count.

if you say you're sorry, and you act in ways that only demonstrate how much you're trying to make yourself feel better, it doesn't count.

it doesn't mean that you always have to do exactly the things you said you were going to do. i mean, i don't do that myself. i forget things, or something else comes up, and then there i am.

but-- i enjoy spending time with the people i love, and i care about how my actions affect them, and i try to show that. i give people things that i think will make them happy, and i talk about them to each other (although i'm working on remembering that this is mostly okay with people, and i don't have to worry about burdening them with me talking about myself and the things and people that are important to me), and i have been told that i light up when they come into the room.

and by me, that's what counts.

words are important too (otherwise i wouldn't be writing this here, now would i?) but on their own, they're not enough.

went to swim therapy tonight. i've been going for a while now, actually; i just haven't been posting about it. it's a chronic pain swim therapy class in a warm water pool at regions hospital in downtown saint paul. the warm water in the pool is very nice; they try to keep it at about 95 degrees or so. (i've been in hottubs cooler than this pool, sadly enough.)

the warmth was especially nice tonight because it's about 40f here, after a week of 70f temperatures. i have hopes that if i continue to go once or twice a week it will help with the knot that grows between my shoulderblades every winter.

i've been spending some time this week in that state of mind where i am so coldly angry that i am eloquent; where all the words i want leap forward and volunteer to be said; where the things that i am angry about are vivid and clear to me.

i like being able to express myself this well. frequently i have to say two or three things that only vaguely resemble the thing i mean before i figure out which the thing i mean is.

i just wish that it would happen all the time, or failing that, at least all the time when i'm angry.


(if you're not an endodontist, likely i'm not angry at you. fyi.)

New Bush security measures

NOV. 26: ATTORNEY General John Ashcroft announces a plan to incarcerate anyone who is thinking about committing a crime. "Since the Sept. 11 terrorist attack, we have become ever more aware that thinking about a crime is the first step in committing one.






(check the date before you freak; right now you should just laugh, and then worry.)

okay, i now added that stuff. how exciting for me.

things to put on my stuff i would like for christmas list:

hand/foot/body lotion, smelling of either peppermint or cucumber. i am allergic to a lot of it, so please only get me small bottles unless you know it's a kind that i'm not allergic to.

good pictures of yourself. (pretty much whoever you are, reading this.)

i stayed up until 530am this morning playing civ3. but i won! wooo!

well.

that's done.

oh, my love. you need to get some new lines. or at least get your other sweeties to stop quoting them in public.

this is a thing that monogamous people don't really need to worry about, i expect; that their sweethearts will get together, compare notes on all the various heartwarming things that have been said to each of them, and realizing that they're the same.

well, i expect that serial monogamists have that trouble. but somehow i expect it's a less visceral terror.

this is a link to the current boondocks strip. i am not certain that i can explain the boondocks. it's a comic strip which i find to be very very funny, in an occasionally painful sort of way. anyhow, if your sense of humor is similar to mine, it seems plausible that you might like it.

okay! two things.

first, my favorite punctuation mark is the comma. some of you who have been reading carefully (or probably more likely, both of you if you've been reading carefully) have probably noticed that.

second, i have been looking at the titles of other blogs. they all have cute and catchy names. i do not. i don't particularly feel oppressed by this lack of a clever name, but if you do, please email me and suggest one.

at work, i am not, after all, trapped in the basement yet. the project has been postponed for yet another bit. i am glad about this, because i hope to get to see the sun this winter. but now i have to figure out what i should be doing, because i gave away all my work to other people, with the expectation that i'd be off on that project.

well, the buffy musical was absolutely wonderful. if you didn't see it, i am sorry for you.

i am off to watch tonight's buffy musical at matt and heidi's house. woo!

"i opened the fire door to four lips, none of which were mine kissing; tightened my belt around my hips where your hands are missing"

i like this ani album a lot.

ooooh.

i have civ3.

oooooooh.