oooooh.

the title of the paper is: working with polyamorous clients in the clinical setting, by joy davidson, ph.d.

In the immortal words of Jaques Cousteau, "In the Sea, there is no cruelty, however, for you, we will make an exception."

(from my friend k. heh.)

yaaaaaaaaaaaay! publishing works again! yaaaaaaaaaay!

being friends with your exes is overrated.

am i suggesting badmouthing them in public? nooooo.

am i suggesting a total scorched earth policy when you break up? noooo.

but frequently, after i break up with someone, i don't want to deal with them much for a while while i process how things are going to work now. and then, after that's settled, then i can reassess whether or not i like the person any more. sometimes i do. sometimes i don't. some of the people i do like i'm way close to, and some of the people i do like i hardly ever see much less have a conversation with. some of the people i don't like i just don't talk to, and some of the people i don't like, i wish would move to inner tibet where they have no internet connections so that i didn't have to deal with them any more.

what's so fabulous about being friends after? in one of the examples that i have seen, it seems to involve one person lying down and letting the other treat them like shit for months at a time. somehow, this doesn't seem like a good idea to me, on either side.

in another example, one person who has spoken about being friends with zir exes and how you shouldn't be involved with people who badmouth their exes is badmouthing one of zir exes in a public space. (oddly enough, i am in fact taking this bit of advice to heart. this just makes it even more desperately unlikely that i'd ever get involved with zir.)

how come it's simultaneously held up that you should be friends with your exes, yet people who say "let's just be friends" are if not reviled, then at least snickered at?

i don't get it.

my starting point on this is that i have one ex who i wish would move to snowy, computerless tibet, some who i don't talk to much due to circumstance, one ex-something who is at least as weird at me as i am at zir, and a whole bunch that i'm friends with, in varying degrees of closeness. and an old, tattered reputation for irrationally hating all my exes and not being friends with any of them.

whatever. whatever! that's what i think.

nathan reinstalled the server this weekend. so soon, many many posts will show up all at once, because right now, nothing is live. it's that whole tricky "hmm, it's not supposed to say that when you reboot..." issue. ah, well.

but nathan upgraded the webadel version that l-space is running! wooo! go log in, eh? (scroll down for the link; i'm a big lazybutt.)

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." -- Theodore Roosevelt

i feel like i shouldn't be this grouchy. but here i am, grouchy!

feh. i am not certain if there's a good cure for this besides going and yelling at people. it would be helpful if there was, but i'm not certain what it would be if there was one. crochetting doesn't help, snugging the dog only helps for as long as i'm doing it, drinking just makes me woozy and grouchy, and etcetera.

probably catching up at work on monday after having been gone for three days will at least distract the hell out of me. we'll see.

George Alec Effinger, born 1947, has died in New Orleans. A graduate of Clarion, he was the author of numerous novels and stories, including the popular cyberpunk series beginning with When Gravity Fails (1987), Hugo-, Nebula-, and Sturgeon-award winning novelette "Schrödinger's Kitten" (1988), and many satirical works from early short story "All the Last Wars at Once" (1971) to a recent series of stories about Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson. Known affectionately in the science fiction community as "Piglet", Effinger had been ill for several years. Further details will be posted when they become available.

(from locus online. the whole thing is posted because i can't figure out how to link to that item by its self. technical help to my email address, eh?)

i read _when gravity fails_ in high school and i loved it. the maureen birnbaum stories didn't particularly grab me, but that didn't stop me from loving his earlier stuff.

rest in peace.

bought dog food and more rag bones today. wooo!

before you email me something that someone sent you, please check it out here.

Urban Legends Reference Pages

(if it says "please email this to everyone you know!!!!", you can save yourself the trouble, usually. it's in there.)

i need to work more on realizing when i'm angry with people. i'm not good at it, currently. i don't know that i'm mad, and then i realize that i am mad, and there is a problem, and right after i've decided that it's such a problem that i am not willing to work on it any more due to the law of diminishing returns, i start to figure out how angry i am.

i am pretty angry at the moment. just for the record.

my stomach hurts. i am all cranky and not having a very happy evening.

i should go fold laundry. i am not at all excited about folding laundry. bleh. bleh!

(thanks for the link correction, xat! :)

from something i posted on l-space but thought i might repost here. it's short, and if i keep going, it'll be shorter than this introduction. anyhow.

i am beginning to think that it is just a universal rule that the more someone thinks they are out of the norm (and the more they feel a need to announce it to people) the more predictable and, dare i say it, stereotypical, they seem to be?

get over yourself. at the very, very least, ugol's law will beat the hell out of your oh-so-cherished freakishness. and more than likely, you're a misfit weirdo in just the same way that everyone else is.

thank you; drive through.

"Oh Lucy! - You Gotta Lotta 'Splain' To Do"

A TIMELINE SURROUNDING SEPTEMBER 11TH - IF CIA AND THE GOVERNMENT WEREN'T INVOLVED IN THE SEPTEMBER 11 ATTACKS WHAT WERE THEY DOING?

(a conspiracy theory. but it seems to hang together pretty well.)

i promised a hair picture. here one is.

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.


like this is a surprise to anyone?

The Sideshow

The Big Switch

Why Democrats should draft John McCain in 2004--and why he should let them. By Joshua Green.

i have only one thing to say about this.

pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease? please, please?

i have so little brain on wednesdays. half my day is full of meetings, and the other half is full of trying to get something done in the spaces in between.

jon carroll on israel and palestine.

LISTEN TO ME. It doesn't matter who's right. Let me say that again: Right now, it doesn't matter who's right. Stop with the screeds. It doesn't matter who's right.

an election correction
(dated Nov 15th 2001, From The Economist print edition)

i've probably already posted this once. but really, everyone needs to see this. multiple times.

in the realms of nathan's coolness, he fixed the toilet so that it doesn't leak any more! yay!

i managed to fix the toilet in that sixth grade, "i'm gonna fix you good!" sort of way, in that it didn't drip but spouted when i was done. then nathan worked on it. ah, well.

go dissect a frog! woo!

did you know you sex frogs by looking at the thumbpads? too cool!

(i think i fixed the archives. and i mean it this time. could someone check?)

nathan has been way productive this morning. he has gotten lots of stuff done. he has done ooooodles of laundry. this is good, because usually i am too much of a slug to do laundry, and i was nearly at a pantsless point in my existance. email nate and tell him what a fine laundry doing sort of person he is and what a slug i am.

no, no, i mean it! go email him.

it's spring.

i hate spring.

sure, sure, the little baby animals and the green green grass and being able to walk outside without a coat on, yes, that's all great.

but the constant aching i'm not so fond of.

i just pasted over a bunch of stuff from my dad's caringbridge site to the page here that i set up. it's http://www.cavort.org/lll/ . i need to go in and fiddle with the dates, but now seems like not a good time for that, since i'm at work, and i remember how i felt when i was writing the entries of those that i wrote. carefully concealed terror. concealed even from me, and fragile as all hell.

i have the hiccups.

i am at work reviewing the knowledge base, finding out how much stuff that i don't know, and eating my manager's jellybeans. mmm, jellybeans.

i am having such trouble not reading buffy spoilers right now. i don't want to know what happens for the rest of the season! really, i don't!

but we're in reruns right now, and the spoilers are calling to me. i can hear them!

jarrin took a picture of me while i was at minicon over easter weekend. here it is!

which children's storybook character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

so this weekend, i reinstalled windows 98 on my computer, and it works fine. xp just hates me.

i went to nathan's nephew's birthday party yesterday, and hobnobbed with the aforementioned nephew's relatives and various three year olds, and then went off to cheshire's wedding in the evening. i survived the birthday party (three year olds and i are not a great combination) and had a great time at the wedding.

today, we went and saw my parents (my mom is still doing well; yay) and then went and had dinner with nathan's family.

whew.

now, off to bed at an hour that seems too early because i will have to get up for work at a similarly too early hour in the morning.

oh, piffle.

[hops up and down in an aggravated fashion]

y'know, i'd have sworn that i backed up aaaaaalllll my email from the last time i reimaged my computer.

i really honest to pete thought i did.

can i find it? nooooo.

is it on the backup cd i made? noooo.

piffle, piffle, piffle!

if you are thinking about suicide, read this first.

from metanoia.org. they have some good stuff there.

hehehe.

i now have very very blond and pink hair. mostly blond. remember when i dyed my hair pink a while ago and we all thought it had totally faded away? no, no fading. it was just hiding, waiting for me to bleach my hair.

pictures soon but not yet.

i am back from minicon and have been since sunday night. but my computer is dead, and i have been at training (how can you have training for computer geeks without computers and a net connection? i ask you, how? well, it was leadership training. that's their excuse. hmph.) for two days, and now i am over at sigrid's house and she, after laughing at my twitching and withdrawal is letting me use her computer.

so here i am sitting at her and jennifer's computer, with connor on my lap (connor is one of jennifer's dogs, and he is the lickiest dog ever. lick lick lick. he is staring longingly at my face wanting me to move it down just a wee bit so that he can lick it but no i refuse in the face of that much drool). connor is very comforting and i am in need of some comforting.

not being able to figure out how to not hurt people you love sucks a lot. i just want to say that.

and now, i am off to watch training day with sigrid with a random small dog in my lap. (jake and teacake do not fit in my lap. not jointly, and not even seperately. how sad for them.)